Monday, January 22, 2007

Virus Alert! has only been a few days and my laptop is already infected. Guess I shouldn't have used my laptop to download stuff.
The next time i'll leave the downloading to my bros with our trustworthy desktop.

Although I have and antivirus running, I still got infected!!

Why?? Why oh why?

AND to make matters worse,
I wasnt able to delete the virus!
It has been running around my system since yesterday night, right after I had downloaded Rain's songs from some website -_-''

So my dad said the only thing to do is to reformat the whole system. Easily said,
BUT I don't even know how to reboot the system!!!
Let's pray my laptop will be fine.

Anyways, I broke up with the new guy 2 days ago.
It was the 2nd time I tried to break up with him and thankfully, this time it was successful.

Although I do like him, but due to my parents disagreement and 'emotional blackmail'
(they asked me to choose between them or the new guy, or something like that)
So, the obvious step I could take was to break up with the new guy.
But I must admit that I miss his calls, especially the long late night calls. Yet, it is wiser to break off before the feelings got any stronger.

After all, like my friend told me, parents will always be the one who loves you the most, so we should do our best not to cause them hurt and disappointment.

And now after I've broke up with him, I really got the time to think about what has been going on in my relationships.

Its hard to admit this, but I guess I'm really immature and selfish when it comes to relationships, I just wanna have fun and enjoy the moment(which is eerily similar to the love profile in the previous post)

Now, I think that what I have felt and done in the past few weeks after new year was a total mess.
My feelings towards the new guy was infatuation, not love.

Due to the infatuation that I felt, I hardened myself against feeling any emotions to my ex-boyfriend who is overseas, and caused him so much misery.
I am indeed the worst person in the world.

I still remember when I had my first boyfriend, I was so excited and told my friend about it. She congratulated and gave me an advice which goes,

LoVe iS NoT a GaMe

Back then, I thought I was fully aware of the meaning behind it. But now I realised that all this while I had played love like a game.
All this while my thoughts regarding relationships were,

If the relationship doesnt last, its ok.
But if it can continue, I would definately want it to make it last.

I guess that's a wrong thought to have in relationships. If a relationship isnt started to last, there's no point in starting it in the very first place, right?

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