It's been awhile since I've been so emo.
Carrots contacted me through e-mail during the past few days.
I'd thought I'd be fine and replied a few e-mails. Then I started to think too much, and ended up feeling all miserable again, and that's just bad for me, so I told him we can't be friends for now because i still don't understand why he wouldn't want me as his girlfriend.
"I thought that we were done with discussing, I don't want to argue over it again, not through e-mail and especially when you're over there in scotland trying to study."
I ignored it.
And he sent me another e-mail saying,
"It is not that I didn't want you in my life. It is just that.. I lost that feeling, when you went cold, when I was busy, you still expected something out of me, I didn't feel as if you cared or trust me. I can't be in that kind of relationship, with less than a month before you leave for scotland.
What I said was, take a break, see how it goes, because I feel that I am not worthy of being a boyfriend, and I wasn't treating you right, the way I went cold on you too.
I enjoyed my moments with you, you're still someone who shared part of my life, and I don't want to lose out on that."
and I replied a long e-mail while crying. *sigh*
Basically I'd do better without him contacting me ever again.
I'm glad I'm in scotland now so that I need not bump into him in the streets randomly.
Peas is reminding herself to be strong, and to love herself, instead of feeling sorry for herself.
She bought an extra chocolate the other day, and has decided to munch the whole bar while going through PP3.