"shiok sendiri"

Lately I've been hearing the term "shiok sendiri" a LOT. "shiok sendiri" or ss in short actually means erm... self-illusion. (that's the best translation i can give)
For instance, jz as I wanted to update my blog, my bro jumped in and comment that my blog is officially a blog of a shiok-sendiri person-->ME!
Oh well, it can't be helped can it? i mean like i'm virtually a jobless girl after my A-levels. So duh, of course my time and only joy comes from blogging.( well, its not my only joy..i'm not that freaky..in fact i'm usually disconnected from the internet compared to my bros)

Well, not only that, when i was holidaying in sarawak with my frens, one of them said i "SS" when i bargained with the CD shop owner..sobs..

BUT, the worst thing that could happen to an SS-er happened today!
Well, i think i've already mentioned about me winning some nivea hamper. At least that's what the letter said. So there i was day-dreaming (very typical for an SS-er) .
Dreaming about getting this super big hamper
while getting a photo shot,
with me there beaming with a big smile.

Well, the dream crashed down just like that. I'll show u the pic of my so-called-hamper.

ok..i dont know what happened to my internet connection. Its darn slow to upload the pic. So who cares. Final point is that my dreams were jz dreams. Shattered into a million pieces. hahaha...oh well, at least i wont hv to buy any facial stuff for quite some time =)

I'm gonna start working tmr..so nervous. I jz called up my future employer jz now, and she sounded like she forgotten me. And she even forgot that tmr is the 1st! goodness..i wonder how i'll survive tmr..

Another day..

I woke up this morning with a slight backache. Most probably cause I spent lots of time sweeping n mopping the whole 1st floor of my house yesterday. Then helped out around the house by doing some simple chores. I changed bedsheets for two of my brothers, sent those dirty linens for washing, hung them, and then sent in a 2nd batch of clothes for washing. -_-" yup..we have lots of clothes.
Then i took a break while reading the papers. Next up, i cleaned my room a little. It was all so messy after i unpacked my stuff. As I cleared my desk, i saw an envelope. And inside was...a letter of course! duh..

And guess what! I won a hamper! Woohooo! Its a hamper with rm101 worth of nivea products! Hehe..i havent collected it yet cause u can only collect it during office hours on weekdays,..too bad. Cant wait to get my hamper. Come to mama!! Hehehe =)

Anyways, i then went out with my sec school frens to meet my senior who jz got back from the states. Man...she's still as pretty as usual. I really like her hair..fine smooth brownish baby hair. Wish mine were like that. Unfortunately it isnt. Mine was labelled "course n thick" by some student in the A cut above academy, when i went for the rm10 cut+wash thingy. Even loads of conditioner doesnt help my hair -_-"
'
When i got home, my mum asked me to help her type some exam questions, which i reluctantly had to do. Typing words is not a porblem to me. But she asked me to draw complicated diagrams related to physics. I mean like those electrical circuits with those "perintang" and all. -_-'' I was so pissed off. I drew ugly pics which were out of proportion, and somehow i messed her whole exam questions. So i gave up and decided to de-stress by watching some taiwan drama which i bought while visitin Sibu.

BUT, the darn hdvd didnt perform its duties! There was no sound! At first i thought maybe it was because i didnt set the sound surround properly...played the hdvd again..no sound!
Then i tried a normal dvd, wham! The sound blasted out so loudly cause i had set it to the loudest volume. I was then left feeling utterly depressed and upset and practically cursing my dvd player. Actually my dvd player is rather good i would say. It can actually play avi format, which means i can watch dvds intended for computers only with that dvd player. BUT, why oh why cant it play some china dvd...

So, i thought maybe my computer could play the darn dvd. Once the computer read it, it said the dvd has some error la, bla bla bla..cannot perform la..and some whole lots of crap which in the end means, i still CAN'T play the darn HDVD..-_-"

So much for my plans of watching taiwan drama series. Btw, the series i wanted to play is called "Devil beside you". Its supposed to be some really really nice show. All my frens were so happy when i bought the dvd cause they wanted to watch it again. Oh well...mayb i'll jz have to get some cheap china brand dvd player. Suddenly, it crossed my mind that maybe this is a marketing strategy used by the chinese ppl to get ppl to buy their dvd players...-_-"

2weeks away from home

Its been quite some time since i blogged..
In fact, i think it has almost been 2 weeks..
4days 2nights for the tioman trip
then from 19th till 27th i was touring(almost the whole)sarawak =)

let's start from the tioman trip
The accomodation there is pretty erm..basic i would say. But other than that, the food was ok(no one got diarrhoea after taking the meals on the 2 nights) and the places we went to were pretty beautiful =)

Sarawak was really nice =)
my trip there can be summed up as
KL --> Kuching --> Sibu --> Miri --> KL

I got AirAsia tickets which were on promotion, so the air tickets only costs rm120, inclusive of taxes. And the flight back to KL from miri was using an airbus! Hehe =) actually, i cant really tell the difference btw a normal plane n an airbus. I only know that an airbus' interior is newer. And erm..there are white scented gases flowing out, which makes the plane smell so much better =)

Oh..i'm so tired..wanna sleep..
And jz now i went out to meet up with Suzy ( my housemate in INTEC who by now is on the way to Bangalore,India) She's a really cute girl =) i can still remember how soft spoken she was when i first met her. I had to get her repeat her words almost everytime. Thankfully by the end of her 1 and a half yrs in INTEC, she spoke in a higher dB but still some other ppl can't catch what she's saying. HAhahaa XD
Also, she's a really good cook. Mastered her already fantastic cooking skills by cooking for PY n me =) Hoohohoo....

Blurr

I'm so blur. I dont even know what i have been doing for the past few days.
It seems that ever since I finished my Alvls, I never really did anything porductive what-so-ever. All i have been doing is tagging along with my dad on his outings to shopping malls in town almost every single day. It tires me sometimes.
For example, yesterday, my dad brought my bf and i out to The Curve. Then, we went to watch "The Pirates of the Carribean". Well, watching the movie is definately enjoyable. Esp since Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom are my fav eye-candy on-screen =) They look extremely dashing even though they might look rather erm..dirty on-screen. While Keira...erm...I can only say this, she doesnt look good tanned. In fact, i think many girls can never pull off the tanned look.

Anyways, back to story. The most annoying thing is that we didnt do anything interesting after watching the movie. We walked and walked around. Made loooong stops at bookshops such as popular and mph. Pity we didnt stop by borders, if not i would hv enjoyed myself reading mangas -_-"
Well...its not that bad..but i do like sulking and complaining when i get the chance. Hahha..so sue me! Jz kidding.

Today, i finally learnt how to convert wma files to mp3 files!!!! YEAh!! Cheers to me!
HAhha..i know i'm stupid..can never realy master computer related stuff..
but anyways, i finally downloaded the programme to convert the files. Its actually cause my phone can only support mp3 files. AND i only hv a memory of 40MB. AND its NOT extandable. So duh, i have to convert or minimise my files so i can get more songs. Haha...

Graduation

clockwise : happy me, annoyed me after posing with a smile for so long, my parents& me, my bf & i

It's hard to imagine, but i have finally graduated from INTEC after 2 long years!
Yup, i know that i have said that i'm done with alevels some time ago in one of the blog, but THAT time i have not officially graduated from intec itself.
But NOW, i have officially graduated from INTEC. Which means i'm no longer a student of INTEC.

Here's a list of things which i no longer hv to go through.
1. Waking up in the morning jz to squeeze a place into the bus. Yeah..like ants running towards a small hole..well, at least that's how it looks like when i look out from my window in the 5th floor. Haha^^

2. And no more standing in the bus through out the journey to INTEC. ( at least that won't happen on board a bus anymore..but then i'll hv to bear with the standing when i travel using the komuter train or the lrt. *sigh* THAT"S how bad our transportation system is. Sad but true.

3. No more eating out at a place where only malay food and mamak stalls are available. Hopefully that way i can lose some weight at home. I gained 2kg since march..i think its march cause that was when my trials started...

4. erm..erm.. i cant think of anymore..

Ok...actually INTEC is a really nice place. The hostel is great. Especially since my unit has only 3residents including myself. (actually its supposed to be a 4person per unit = 2person/room)
And also, i can study better in the hostel cause there arent any distractions such as the tv (we do hv a chared tv room in each block, but since i live onthe 5th floor i seldom go down to watch tv. Not unless its my fav series the "Desperate housewives" =)
Plus, my room doesnt hv a comp cause we didnt get an internet connection. I know of some students who got internet connection, and they can jz surf the net or blog, or chat in the comfort of their rooms. How nice huh? But that's not for me, i get distracted by the net.
Also, compared to some public Universities hostel, INTEC's hostel is strategically located in an area with a mini giant for us students to shop for groceries. Plus, there's Watsons, McDonalds, KFC, Baker's Cottage, Warnet, Bata, Speedy, and erm..lots of eating stalls =)

Well, its definately a great experience, esp since i think i hv succesfully perfected the skill of cooking using a ricecooker! YEAH! Hahaaha^^
I think i'll miss the place a bit. A tiny little bit only. Hahaha..and finally..good riddance of Mak and Pak Guards who "fine" ppl who wear "baju singkat yg menonjolkan belakang" "baju kebaya yg selit terlalu tinggi or menonjol" "seluar jeans yg ketat" "lengan pendek" "seluar pendek(even for guys)" and lots and lots more. If u wanna know the full list, jz get fined by the guard and u'll get a piece of rahter long rectangular paper with all the so-called-offences in INTEC.

Anyways, here's some pics of today's ceremony and also some pics of INTEC memories.

Friends and my different looks(unfortunately i don't know how to piece pics together using photoshop yet.i'll try to learn it IF possible..hahaha..)

Great Day!

Hehehe ^-^ It's been quite some time since i had a great day. (well, my previous days were good..but not great. And to me, great day= fun+ memorable day)

First off, i woke up at 8.30am, bathe and got ready to go out with my bf and his sis. As i got dressed up in the clothes which i picked the night b4, i realised i grew fatter! The short skirt which i bought around 2years back had become tight! Especially around the hips -_-" (i know wide hips are good for child-bearing, but its not pretty in short skirts nor jeans. In fact, its hard to make wide hips look great..urgh~)

Although the skirt was tight, i still wore it. I must make full use of the skirt before the day where i can't even zip up comes. Hopefully that day wont come too soon. I only wore that skirt a few times thanks to the rules in INTEC; the land where baby tee's and jeans are forbidden. And honestly, i doubt i'll be wearing the skirt anytime soon again. Mayb i'm jz being paranoid, but i can't help noticing how fat, flabby and hairy my legs are. Its jz distracting.

So, after my bf got ready, we went off to subang parade. Thankfully my dad had an appointment with his friend, so he dropped my bf and i "near" the ktm station. (All the transportation money saved!) And later on, my bf's sis picked us up and then we headed to Times Square!

There was some minor traffic jams along the journey, but it was still bearable, esp since i'm not the driver! haha! Anyways, we then decided to park inside the parking bay of times square itself. It was by bf's sis 1st time parking inside the compound, so we were all unsure of the parking charges. At the ticketing booth, we saw a shocking fee!
rm3 for the 1st hour
rm2 for subsequent hours
(applicable during sat,sun, and public holidays)
o.0
Boy were we shocked. But the damage has been done as the parking ticket was already in the driver's hand.

Once we parked, we decided to speed up our shopping time so that the parking fees wont kill us. 1st stop - Low Yat Plaza
Items in shopping list - optical mouse, webcam, bluetooth adapter
In the end - we managed to have our lunch at Mr teppanyaki, and we bought all our stuff, and even got and extra microphone.

2nd stop -Sungai Wang/ BB plaza
Items in mind - Winter clothing for my bf
In the end - we got some of the winter clothings so we had to make another extra stop

3rd stop - Lot 10
In the end - we manage to get an almost completed set of winter clothings for my bf. And his sis bought a luggage too =) We were all happy ppl after that as we completed buying all the items in the shopping list. As it meant no more walking around to hunt for stuff anymore. By that time, we were all hungry ppl. So after we put the stuff in the car, we headed to our 4th stop.

4th stop - Jalan Yap Ah Loy
Mission - "Pan-mee" dinner
In the end - We had dinner and a specialy guest appearance by...meow!



oww..ain't she cute?


Now, a look who's in-charge of taking the great shot of the kitty cat!

Well, actually...the main reason i had a nice day was due to the super adorable kittens i saw today =)
MEOW!

Its not the end..

This is simply saddening. I should hv jz said "no" when i was given this opportunity. But, i didn't. And so i brought a whole load of trouble n stress to myself. And there i was thinking i wouldnt even hv to use a single cell of my brain after my a-levels. So much about that dream...*sigh*

After the end of the last day of the "class", i still felt out of place. Maybe my social skills arent that great. That's why i didnt manage to make any friends. And in any case, i doubt they'll b "good" friends. I mean it'll only be a hi-bye kinda friend, nothing more. I didnt even talk a single word to the person next to me, except asking him to pass a paper of stuff like that. Yeah...mayb it's jz me..but then the fact that they didnt talk to me either means their social skill is not much better than mine, right?

Not only that, my bf had to wait for me for the past 5days when i attended the class. And it was actually supposed to b a 2-hour class, but the "teacher" always let us off late. And my definition of late is like half an hour. What a killer. By the time i get a cab to the train station, and take the ktm back home, it'll b around 10pm -_-"
My pooor bf..looks like i'm "torturing" him right? But its NOT true..he himslef volunteered to tag along..its not like i held him at gun-point and forced him to come. And i dont even hv a gun!

Ohya..not to mention the transportation to subang from klang is NOT cheap. The train tickets are still ok..its only rm2.40 from my place to the subang ktm station. But its the taxi fees that kills! I mean like from the ktm station to the office(next to taylor's business school) is only a 15-min walk, But the silly taxi driver had the guts to charge rm4 for 2 persons! Is petrol THAT expensive? And they drive like mad drivers. They cut ppl's lane like no one's business, they drive run over red lights! They are the very BEST example of DANGEROUS drivers on the road. Its amazing they dont get any tickets from the police. What is the subang traffic police doing? -_-"

Then, the worst thing is --> i have to do an assignment.
Yup..and assignment of supposingly simple real-life situations. Calculations of insurance la..monthly savings to attain a fix amount after retirement, children's education fund la. Total interest of the housing loans la. Haih..its a killer. I dont even know what's going on anymore.

Then, parents commented on how low i was getting paid(i'm only gonna get paid rm500 a month to work as an intern) And as an intern, i'll hv to help out with some office work. Working hours are the usual one, 9am-5pm. I doubt there'll b any EPF. And the transportation and food is going to cost me at least rm250, half of my pay!

At first, i had thought if i am able to learn stuff, it'll be worth the effort..but now..i cant imagine how i can learn from the boss. Her explanations are a bit tough for me to catch sometimes. I dunno..all sorts of silly questions that i'll hv to think about now. I mean like..rm500 only leh..if i work at tesco from 9-5 a month..i'll get more than 500! cause tesco pays rm4 per hour!

*sobs* am i getting cheated?

Alien Language

Well, it seems like my prediction is absolutely correct.
I am lost in the "class" for financial maths jz now.
I still havent bought a financial calculator. And even if i did, i wouldnt know how to use it at all. Although i know the variables involved (PV,FV,n,i,PMT), i hv problems determining their values.
I mean like, even the other "students" there cant really do the calculations. They had to think n ask a few questions to get the answer.
On the other hand, was me; a clueless girl armed only with a Scientific Calculator and a 3 formula. So, its pretty obvious that i'm the one who couldnt do the calculations given, eventhough according to the "teacher", she only gave SIMPLE calculations. Oh well..since i cant even do simple calculations..i dont think i'm gonna move any further.

After all that depressing thoughts, i had a brilliant plan to finally get a Financial calculator (eventhough its rather expensive(rm110) and eventhough my bf has been discouraging me to get it, cause according to him i'm only going to use it a couple of times, then the poor calculator will be neglected n left to dust.) BUT..the stationary shop was closed by time the class ended.
i even asked the "teacher" to lend me some books to read so that i can catch up a little. And she jz told me that she'll photocopy some notes for me.

So..i'm back home again, feeling left out n completely out of place.
My fren who introduced me to this "course" was busy with his friends, and had no time for me. Although i'm starting to think that he's ignoring me on purpose, or mayb its jz my imagination..but whatever..i jz hv this intuition that he's ignoring me for reasons unknown to me.
Well, since i hv a lot of shortcomings, it means i hv plenty of reading n researching to do. And less time for any other thing. It is so sadddening. My anime-marathon will hv to wait for another time.

Financial Problems..

i got a new skin. Again. -_-"
Seems like changing skins for my blog has become my latest hobby. A few months back i was happily changing bg for my friendster account. Unfortunately my friendster is left in the dark now.
Haha..when i hanged my skin jz now i realised that i didnt blog at ALL during June!
Amazing! This either means i hv good will power to not blog at all, or it means i'm plain lazy. In this case, i think it's the latter. =)

Now, back to my financial problems. I think i hv serious problems here. I'm absolutely clueless in financial mathematics. And not having a financial calculator makes things even worse -_-"
Yesterday, i attend the 2nd day of the short "course" on financial maths. And things were so alien to me.
What are bonds?
Malaysian Government Securities?
Stocks?
Warrants?
and a whole lot more terms which i can never find in my biology or chemistry books. In fact its not even in my maths or stats textbooks.
And, who the heck is Warren Buffett?
his name was repeated quite a few times throughout the 2and a half hours in the office..
Thankfully i now know that he's some bigshot in the investing world, raking up a LOt of money..bla bla..
Haih...seems like this week will b tough one on this "naive" biology stream student.

Jz another day and maybe a little change..

It's jz another day in my life.
As usual, the mundane activities repeat themselves.
I wake up feeling tired n sleepy. 8 hours of sleep is not enough nowadays.
Then i read the papers..dried the clothes..and then ate my lunch.

Well, yesterday was a bit different though..
i had a trip down to times square with my bf. We watched Superman returns. Paid rm11 PER person and went in. On the way in..we had to surrender my bf's digital camera. Why?
Cause there was this notice which sounds something like this :
" Due to the early release of "Superman Returns" in Malaysia, all video recording tools are not allowed to be brought into the cinema to prevent Piracy. And..bla bla bla... Your co-opereation is greatly appreciated."

Hmm...gets you thinking about how many malaysians are involved in piracy. Wait..i suddenly think that all of us are caught in the piracy web, one way or another.
I mean like, many ppl buy pirated vcds, cds, dvds, computer softwares, etc...
But, its not only that. Pirated clothings lie everywhere, we can even download songs, videos, movies, and softwares on9.
So, tell me who isnt involved in piracy?

OKie..back to topic. Yesterday, i also went to a erm..short course? about financial stuff. My friend had invited me to go. And since its the company which i'm gonna work as in intern next month, i might as well go n learn a thing or two. At least that was what i had in mind.
Unfortunately, things didnt go as well as i had imagined.
1. i arrived late..by 10mins or so..
2. i was the only one without a piece of paper to take down notes.
3. i didnt even bring a calculator when we were supposed to do calculations
4. The other "students' there were either in accouting, finance, marketing n actuary science. I was the odd one out..a future pharmacy-degeree holder..
5. i had absolutely no idea what financial mathematics is. The boss was talking about a formula where u have unknowns such as "i" PV, FV, n, PMT..
I was at a total loss...luckily its pretty simple to guess
i = interest
PV = present value
FV = future value
n = number of years
PMT = payment( the boss mentioned this)

SO anyways, this "course" will continue this whole week. And i am starting to wonder whether i can survive it without looking like a complete fool..wait..mayb the noun "fool" had already been labelled on my large forehead -_-"
but..whatever..i'll do what i think is best..and i do pray i'll learn somethings that a 'normal' pharmacy student wouldnt know about investments and finance.

Over with A levels..what's next?

Wheee!!
Finally done with me A-levels..have been studying it for the past 2YEARS!
Imagine...TWO of my precious years jz to get an Alvl cert.. -_-"
Well, to be honest..the two years spent in INTEC weren't that bad. Life do get boring at times..but its like that..i've gotten used to it.
TWo years spent with my amazing roomates, housemates, classmates, collegemates...hehehe..anyways..all are my lovely friends nonetheless..
Lemme see..many things happened in two years...i changed a little..
1. i was single but now i'm not
2. i had short hair..now i hv long hair(not that long..but its the longest length i ever had! serious!)
3.....ermm? ermm...?
can't think of any other stuff... -_-"

Now that i'm over n done with a levels..what's next?
hehe..hopefully i get good results n get a placing in IMU next year..gonna do pharmacy..
but in the mean time..i wanna get a job..i found one..i even went for an interview already...back then it sounded like i had got the job...but now..hmm...nvm...
what job? i dunno...some intern for a financial company..
why this job? cause i wanna learn how to manage my money so i can more out of it..
but then its not like i hv a lot of money to start with...-_-"
haih..if i'm gonna go to work..i need to get some formal wear really soon, cause i don't have any...the only thing formal i hv is my baju kurung..and ONE blouse..NO slacks or formal skirts..the rest of my wardrobe is filled with casual wear..

oh...anyways..hv been rather lazy back home...didnt do much...went muar and kluang recently..ate a lot..cause there's nothing much to do there, other than eating..hmm...i wanna put some pics..but its not with me for now...nvmla..i'll udpload it sometime later when i get the pics =)

anime..here i come!! its a marathon to cover all the anime i've missed during my exams!!!!!

Yeah! New Skin!!

Woot!
i got a new skin for my blog! Hehe^^
Isnt it nice?? Oh..luckily it didnt take me too long to do the whole thing last night. Did it right after i blogged last night XD
i know that i have said i wouldnt hv the time to change the skin, at least not until July,
BUT...
i was too lazy to do any studying, so..i sat in front of the computer doing this.
bcoz, changing blogskin = self-satisfaction
which leads to ---> being happy
---> good night's rest.

And also, i am so-so proud to say that i have improved my own record time of changing the blogskin.
1st time = half a day
2nd time = 2+ hours, mayb +++
Hahaha XD
But still, there's no comment section -_-"
Oh well...

Let's Get Started!

WeekLy UpdateS =)

Mon :
Fell sick jz b4 my 1st A-lvl paper(w1) and amazingly panadol activ fast really works! mayb its bcoz its been SO long since i ate panadol. Unlike my bf who takes them EVERYTIME he has a headache -_-"

Tues:
W1 Paper was a total shock!
Based on the past year papers we have, my roomie and i (yup, i apologised to her BUT she didnt..oh well, she's like that..that's jz her) and MANY other students had speculated that ENZYMES were going to come out.
BUT, it didnt.
INstead, Breathing Rate came out.
1st thought "Sh*t"
2nd thought, there is none.
Hahaha..cause i was busy doing the first question. And, there were some "new" questions asked. Which obviously means i crapped a LOT. Basically, the whole paper was filled with my ugly hand writing and loads of crap.

Weds:
Bored to death. Should hv been studying for chem practical BUT i didnt. Jz sat in the room and slept quite a bit.

Thurs:
Ate mamee duck noodles after a LONG time. I prepared it NS-style, ie pouring HOT water directly on noodles, leave for a few minutes and there ---->a bowl of DUCk noodles for u=)
Bowel action was OUT the whole day. U know the type where u go to the loo with the intention to do "business" but ntg comes out?? That's the one.
That night, i was pretty upset. Bad temper and all. Probably cause my bf had confirmed he's going to Czech??
I went for dinner with my bf at WiraSejati, and i was rather hungry and grumpy..yet NO one came n took my order.
"WHY?"
so i shot a look at the waiter.. eye contact was achieved for a second, then i turned away, thinking he got the msg to come take my order. AND he had the guts to go get a drink!
Angry me raised a hand and there the HE came walking slowly...
"NASI GORENG IKAN MASIN!!
TEH TARIK!'
Obviously it was loud enough, yet after he took my bf's drink he pointed at me and asked,
"minum apa?"
Annoyed, i had to repeat my order.
LAter that night, slept early for my LAB the next day.

FRIDAY:
Chemistry Practical 3A. Well, since its the 2nd day of the practicals. I had already know the questions..roughly. If the compounds was not changed i would hv known the answers for the whole paper. XD
The test itself was fine. BUT we had to be quarantined for an extra 2.5 hours after that! WE had to wait for those students in the 2nd session to finish up before we can be relased. (sounds like we're sick or something, huh? plus we cannot use our mobile phone..-_-")
And i had initially thought that my quarantine time would only b 1/2 and hour ONLY.
So, i didnt bring any food, which made me HUNGRY.(thankfully JJ had a bun, which i ate XD)
Then, i didnt bring any books or materials to read..it was a total waste of my whole morning.
Worse still, by the time we were released (1.15pm) no INTEC busses were available.(praying hours -_-") So ----> took the Mini Bus back.
Ate lunch--> nap -->went swimming with parents-->dinner-->home--->blogging!

I'm A Green-Eyed Monster

Yup, i'm officially a green-eyed monster.

A friend of mine asked me to delete the previous post where i said rather..erm "bad" stuff about my roomie. Her reason was not to let the "whole world" know about my problem with her. And, i told her i would.
But,
i guess i would have to break my promise. Because i realised that what i had posted was my exact feelings at THAT particular moment. Eventhough i have not reconciled with my roomie, but right now i'm not upset at my her anymore.
I think to delete the post will be like denying my true self. I'll keep it as a "remembrance" of how "evil n angry" i was. Hahaha..i sound weird..in fact, i sound old -_-" Sheesh..

Before i continue, i would like to make my humblest (is there even such a word???) to my roomie. In case she reads this, or anyone told or informed her about my bad-mouthing her. I would like to say, Sorry girl. I know you said those kind of things because that is exactly how you are. And well, this is jz me.. So we're equal basically. Hahaha..

Well, now its about me being a green-eyed monster.. And yet again it has some connection with my current roomie =)
Actually, i hv been envious of ppl before this, but back then..things were less "stressful". I mean like even when i was jealous of my friends before, it would effect my self-esteem that much. Maybe its bcoz u dont face ur frens 24hours in sec school. But in INTEC, i face my roomie, almost, ALMOST 24 hours a day. Now..that's scary.
When i first registered in INTEC, i was with my mum and other than that, no one form my sec school was there. So i was alone n had to make new friends. I knew nobody. Yup..the poor outlier. Hahaha...i'm kidding =P
Back to story, my roomie was also registering the same time as me and she was queueing up jz in front of me. And i can still remember how much i was taken in by her beauty. Okie, dont get me wrong, i'm NOT a lesbian. I'm not. Well, i know ppl who would say
"the more you deny, the more ppl will think its true"
so duh...its true!! i'm a lesbian..burn me!
HAhaha...i'm jz joking. REALLY!
(i think i studied a little too much..i'm mad)

To cut a long story short, i ended up as her housemate at first. And during this semester i bcame her roomie.
In the beginning, when i first entered INTEC, i was this

1. a short haired girl whose hair ,as some claimed, is NEVER combed.

Please, dont blame me. My short has always looked uncombed eventhough i combed it..duh..talk about being presentable. '

2. i had a serious acne problem. I still hv it, but at least its a LOT better than before and i am more than happy with the way it is now..but its getting worse again..might be the stress from studying *sobs*

Back then i lacked self-esteem. Maybe i didnt really show it, but i myslef felt it.
I was unhappy that other ppl had flawless skin and i used to cry bcoz of it.
And, having this really beautiful girl as my housemate was NOT a big help.
In fact, her presence made me feel even insecure.

Yup, i was a green-eyed monster.
I was envious of her beauty.
So i consoled myself by thinking "mayb she isnt as good as me in studies"
then came the 1st test, which she scored better than me.
-_-" so much about her my being better.
I couldnt find a single thing which i was better than her in.
I felt so desperately miserable.
But,
after some time,
somehow i managed to cure that "disease" of mine.
I forgot how it happened, but it jz did. I didnt really bother about it, and it became a natural thing.
She is she.
And i am me. We're different ppl.

BUT, of course the jealousy does come back once in awhile.
So, i do get unhappy sometimes. Like in the previous post, i would say i was totally acting like a really mean monster, glowing in bright geen inside out.
Its not a lovely sight.
i Know it makes me look ugly,
BuT, i can't help it.

And that day i bumped into an article about controlling jealousy.
It said something which sounds like this
" stop comparing yourself with others. Its that easy"
I agreed everything the article said. Except the part which it said EASY.
IF
it were that EASY. The whole world would be happy. No one would be sad.

IF only it were true.
i can blab more about how ppl compare BOTH consciously and unconsciously.
I wish i could say i am happy with the way i am now, but there'll always be times when i'll morph into an ugly green-eyed monster.

MoRe StuDyiNG To Do -_-"

BlaH..!
this whole week has been clearly UNproductive. I'm too lazy to pick up my book to study. Well, of course i do study. But my studying rate can be compared to that of a snail. Yup, that's how slow i go...
why rush? Hahaha XD

Sheesh..something's wrong with the keyboard again.
I can't seem to click on the 'enter' tag. blah..gotta re-edit again. Taking away my time for studies though its not like i accomplish anything with a measly 10min? (finally re-editted it)
Haih...my life now clearly revolves around studying ONLY. I'm such a nerd.
The latest entertainment i had was watching MI3 in midvalley. Hahaha=) My bf is so sweet. He brought me to watch the movie=) he knows i love going out a LOT! And, we watched MI3 for only rm6! Muahahha XD
its basically bcoz we went early. The movie was screened at 11am. So every show b4 12 is only rm6. And i had the guts to ask the fella whether i can use my student id! Haha...i bet he was thinking that i'm such a 'kedekut' girl. Its already so cheap yet i dare to ask for another rm2 off. (yup, student IDs can get you rm2 off! )
yeah..the early bird gets cheap tickets! not to mention no queue!

Other than being bored to death by studying only, i can say that i'm fine...i guess..
Wait, highlight of the week - i launched a cold-war against my roomie.
I dunno why..i jz got so pissed-off at her all of a sudden. Well, mayb its bcoz she called me a 'siu-lei-yan' a mcd last week.(its in cantonese and i think i got the 'han-yi-pin-yin' wrong too)
When she scolded me that day, it didnt hit me. In fact i was so innocent. I didnt feel any anger or frustration. But after much thought, I realised that what she said can be considered as a verbal attack against my ego. Its not like my ego is worth a lot, but duh, i guess its time for me to stand up for myself.
I seldom get angry at ppl. Its been a rather long time since i had a major outbrust. For now i'm jz giving her the cold shoulder.
But duh, she doesnt even know y i'm mad. She jz thinks its my problem. Well, i understand her rather well that i can guess what's going in her head.

" i didnt even do anything wrong. So why should i care?"

Yup, that might be what's running in her head. Wait...maybe she's to oblivious she doesnt even think about it. She jz ignores.
Haih..i guess i'm rather mean. It sounds like i'm back-stabbing her. So that makes me a meanie after-all...gotta delete this post soon. But then again, its not like she's gonna read this anyway..

Intimidated

InTiMiDaTeD but not DefeateD

Heck. Eversince i got my blog my bro has been telling me how fantastic other ppls blog were. He kept telling me to write a bimbo blog. And i was like wa??
Wat the heck is a bimbo blog anyways??
And so my kind bro asked me to visit kenny sia's blog, which i obediently did. Aint i a good sis XD? In KS (writing the name over n over again is tiring), my bro showed me a hilarious post. And yup, it was definately entertaining. Next up my bro showed me KS's posts about bimbo blogs. Well, after reading that i finally know what a bimbo blog is.
At first i thought bimbo blogs were blogs of paris hilton-like girls. Eg acting silly girly, cute, party lovers, etc.. And yup, its true they are like that. BUT, they get sponsors! I checked a bimbo blog which Ks introduced, and wow. She has lots of sponsors.
Well, u can't blame them. She n her kind( i mean those bimbo girls) are pretty. But who am i to say they are bimbos. i dunno, its bcoz everyone says it is so duh, it is a bimbo blog. i didnt label them as one in the first place.
Anyways, back to topic. My bro kept saying u should write a bimbo blog, Then u can get lots of free stuff n bla bla bla..
Well, i'll b more than happy to get freebies anytime of the day, BUT

1. i am not pretty
Do u hv any idea how pretty those girls are WITh make-up?
i dont even know how to make-up! (i'm a fail being a decent girl, i know..it saddens me too)

2. I do not go partying.
i have always liked the thought of going to a club since form 5, But....My parents don't really allow me to go. And so i thought when my bros hit 18 they can bring me out. But unfortunately that never happened either, and i doubt it will anytime soon. And, with my bf now..the more reasons for me not to visit one.

3. i hv no talent on writing bimbo-blogs.
BImbo blogs hv loads of pretty pics lying around the whole blog. And since they are really pretty, its eye candy ie male fans n supporters. Duh, and the 1st reasons explains it all doesnt it?

Well, enough of my sulking. my inability to write a bimbo blog might actually b a good thing. If i really get started on writing a bimbo blog.......
nah..i dont think it'll EVER happen

at least not now =)

IT

IT

Now, does IT means anything to you? Does IT ring a bell? NO?
Well, how about if i mention a clown called IT?
Familiar?
Remember the scary clown?
The one with razor-sharp teeth?
I think most of u all do. But jz in case u dont recall. LOOK!


p.s - see the 15+ sign? the vcd we bought was labelled as U-untuk tontonan UMUM! Bcoz of the incompetence to the msian censorship board, innocent kids like me had terrifying nightmares *sobs*

Well, jz the other day, I was in OneUtama window shopping with my family n my bf. Then, we bumped into the VCD for IT!
At first i thought only my bro n i would know the movie. But to my surprise even my bf knows about IT. Hahaha=) Actually even a sec school friend of mine knows the movie. Then my bro said most of his friends have watched the movie too! So i came out with the conclusion that most ppl around my age hv watched IT!
Why?
coz it was screened on TV1 or was it TV2? not once, but several times! And since back then astro wasnt even around, most kids only watched tv1 n tv2. Hahaha...nostalgic isnt it? The days when we didnt even hv cartoon network or mtv or espn..etc
In the end, after a short debate. I succesfully got my bf to buy the movie. Its quite cheap actually, only rm24.90 for 4 discs. And its original too =)

Before we watched the movie. We can remember only the horrifying parts like in death in the bathroom. Or the blood splurting out of the sink?
yup..all the scary scenes were ethed into out memories.
I remember my bro was so scared after watching the movie that he didnt dare to go into the toilet alone again. Well, of course he goes in with my other bro, not me...( what were u thinking? =p)
In fact i think that many kids are afraid of clown bcoz of that movie. Even i at one point had phobia towards clowns. Those scary white-painted faces. The movie really gave clown worldwide a bad BAD name. Haha XD. Well, even now movies play a big role. Like my friend who didnt dare to visit Genting's theme park after watching Final Destination 3.

Anyways, after watching the movie, we 'cured' ourselves! Hahha...jz kidding. Watching the movie is really good. It brings back childhood memories. Maybe its because we're older and we know that its not real.. But jz think about this, when we were younger, scary things tend to stick into our mind. i watched 'IT' maybe about 10 or 12 years ago when i was only 9/10... yet i can still remember. My bro has better memory. He even remembers who dies first. Haha=) well, its rather a sweet memory. Me n my two bros as kids sitting in front of the tv watching a horror movie. i remember my mum watching the movie with us, but when we re-watched the movie, she said she has no recollection what-so-ever. Yup, she's getting really old..poor mummy..But she's still my beloved mummy anyways=)

lazy me

i'M LaZy

Yup, i'm so lazy. After missing chemistry for about a week, i still fell asleep in class -_-"

Now dont get me wrong, i did not skip classes for a week-lah.. My chem lecturer fell sick and had to be hospitalized. Poor lady. Her health condition is really bad. Maybe bcoz she's a triplet?? (triplets! really rare huh? To make matters even more interesting, she and her elder sis both are CHEMISTRY lecturers, and BOTH of them teach in the same school. Her younger sis is working someplace else..And Once my friends and i even got the chance to see the Trio together!..cool huh? They are almost exact copies of one another. Minus the fact that my chem lecturer is the thinner one. wait..most thin among the 3 =) yay, i still remember my grammar!

Okie, back to topic. I was supposed to copy down answers for the past year papers. Yet i didnt, partly due to the fact that i hv already copied them! haha XD

But when she started explaining..wham..my eyes closed themselves automatically.

Its an uncurable disease of mine.

Hehe..i'm supposed to be doing maths or studying some chem or bio. Yet i'm in the comp lab with my bf. Blogging -_-" while my bf?? obviously reading some online manga. HeheXD

Anyways, i think i keep mentioning i hv to study..

so i guess that makes me half a nerd.

*sobs*

NEW LOOK

ReVaMPeD with LoTs oF SwEaT n StReSS

Whew! i Finally managed to put a new skin to my blog. After a many hours sitting like a brainless girl in front of the screen. -_-"
Before i start babbling about how bad things got. Lemme tell u the reason i had this suddenly spur of mind to "update" the looks of my blog.

Now, i hv this cousin sister who's younger than me. She's really cute n has this incredibly super straight hair w/o having to rebond it. Ok, that's out of topic a little. Main point is that she has a blog too. Wait..she has a FEW blogs. And on Fri night i chatted with her n checked out her blog. The moment i went in, i was in awe!
It was really cool n all with this big BonJOvi pic at the side.
Well, mayb its bcoz i seldom read ppl's blog so i dont really know how good other ppl's blog were. And i all this while i was thinking my blog was OK. So now, i felt erm...left out? inferior? silly? hmmm...lots of mixed-up feelings.
That night, i had this incredible urge to revamp my blog. With the few websites my cousin introduced, I set on a mission the very next morning. Considering my zero% info in html it looked almost impossible. But that didnt stop me at all.
Firstly i got my tagboard which is a lot more convenient than posting a comment. Then i visited blogskins to get my skin. At first sight, i loved this skin. Its so nice n simple =)
So i decided to use it. After reading the "tutorials" i thought i was well equipped. And so from the preview i saw, i thought the blog was complete.
BUT, when i tried to republish my blog. It failed. It kept saying 0%republished. I was hysterical. Freaked out, Stressed...Oh..the horror. My blog was then a terrible error.
So, with the advise of XianFeng(my pet bro frm sg) i got a new skin, which was cute with lots of kitty cats around XD i love cats =) But then, the space for the post was super small and so i didnt find it that attractive. By then, i realised that i had to switch OFF my firewall to republish my blog. If not it would take ages. @.@
It was that simple.
So i used this skin again.
I started from scrap and slowly editted everything again.-_-" n since i'm a little "blur" it took me many many hours. Then was the horror of failing to republish my blog. Thankfully everything went fine n
HEY! ITs a wHoLe NeW LoOk!
Yeah! its nice aint it. But it has a few cons. It doesnt hv an archieve where i can keep track of the number of posts i hv. Plus, its a little too small. It only covers less than 1/2 the computer screen *sigh* BUT i'm in no mood to change the skin anymore. It takes up too much time.
I'm supposed to study back home. And instead i was blogging. Which caused my bf to scold me for not studying *sobs*
Well, at least i learnt something.
1. Switch OFF the firewall when republishing my blog
2. How to paste n edit html

SO, its a lesson well learnt. Dont u agree?
Btw, if ur reading this..do leave some comments ya =) Thanks^^

Ethics =(

I jz had my ethics finals yesterday and i can talk non-stop about everything connected to ethics.
Starting from the teacher herself.

She's an ustaza, someone's who's very VERY religious. My class jz got her this semester. Previously, the other lecturers(who were malay too) were really nice and open-minded to discussion. But this lecturer...*sigh* u cant imagine how much our ears suffered during her class. Although very FEW ppl are listening in her class, she would still sit in front n talk non-stop about some Islamic topic we were supposed to cover. The previous lecturers never did that, they would usually jz discuss a few things and leave the class EARLY.
A good way of putting it, is that she utilises her time to the maximum..Which unfortunately doesnt make students like me very happy. We rather hv a fun n condusive class which ends EARLY. =P

Well, talking about her not being open-minded. I hv this rather good example. One of the groups in our class were presenting on a topic connected to boy-girl relationships. (BGR) So a one of my classmates ask about Islam's point of view about BGR. So she started saying 'BOLEH....sudah tentu TIDAK boleh."
NOW, that caught our ears.
She continued,"Seorang perempuan tidak harus berdua-duan dgn seorang lelaki kecuali ianya berbincang pasal studies @business"
'WHY?" we asked.
"Ini adalah utk mengelakkan drp mereka yg berdua-duan melakukan perkara yg tidak diingini. Utk mengelakkan mrk drp mendpt godaan syaitan."
"Kalaulah lelaki dan perempuan hendak bersama kawan2 lain haruslah ikut bersama."
Most of us went like ~Oh....ok?~
Its pretty obvious we didnt buy her story. A few of us even had this silly look of trying not to laugh out loud in class. Hahaha..=)

NOt only that, all my previous lecturers would give tips on what's coming out for the finals, but SHE obviously DIDN'T. So, we had to go through the whole set of notes she gave. I studied n studied, but i didnt realy absorb anything cause the topics were rather uninteresting. The only interesting topics to me were Polygamy and Divorce. BUT...that didnt even appear in the paper*sigh*
In the end, I didnt even know how to answer most of the objective questions. Then for the essay section..i talked crap most of the time. Both to make the essay look long and also to kill time. 2hours for an ethics paper is too long. So obviously i had lots of time to crap in the essay part. Hahaha...

Conclusion, learning ethics have not made me more ethical.